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news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060910/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/cheney

"Part of my job is to think about the unthinkable, to focus what in fact the terrorists may have in store for us," Cheney told NBC's "Meet the Press" when asked about his "dark side."

"Yes, the unthinkable, like that stuff I just made up to justify invading Iraq so my company's stock could go through the roof". Cheney then ripped the head off a young kitten and drank its blood "Mmm, the blood of the young really gets the juices flowing."

Cheney said he now recognizes that the insurgency in Iraq was not "in its last throes," as he said in May 2005.

No shit, Sherlock. Most of us figured that out before you said it. There's no medal for getting it right a year and a half late.

"I think there is no question but that we did not anticipate an insurgency that would last this long," the vice president said.

Again, most of us realized this was crap long ago, good of Dick to join us albeit several years (and thousands of lives) late. Forgive me if I'm not impressed that he's finally coming to these conclusions when it appears his bungling is going to cost his party the elections.

"It's still difficult. Obviously, major, major work to do is ahead of us. But the fact is, the world is better off today with Saddam Hussein out of power. Think where we'd be if he was still there," Cheney said.

Yes, where would we be. Well, several thousand of our young men and women would still be alive, I'm sure their parents are really glad that didn't happen. Many thousands of Iraqis would still be alive, I'm sure their families are cheering the fact that we didn't let their lives get in the way of Halliburton's stock price. We'd have most likely caught Osama if we hadn't taken our eyes off the prize and removed most of our special forces from Afghanistan so they could piss around Iraq and commit war crimes.

And of course let's not forget Saddam. He'd still be an impotent dictator who couldn't even exercise authority in a large portion of his country. Yeah, that was totally worth all the lives and billions of dollars and allowing Osama to remain free.

The vice president said the reports were about as valid "as the ones that said I was in charge of everything."

He then sat George Bush on his lap and drank a glass of water while Bush recited Mary Had a Little Lamb.

"I think we've done a pretty good job of securing the nation against terrorists. You know, we're here on the fifth anniversary (of the 9/11 attacks). And there has not been another attack on the United States. And that's not an accident, because we've done a hell of a job here at home," Cheney said in the broadcast interview. "I don't know how much better you can do than no, no attacks for the past five years."

Unless of course you still remember all those anthrax tainted letters that had everyone scared to open their mailboxes. But of course you don't remember that because the media's done its job of distracting you and making sure you don't remember.

And of course the lovely liberal media once again forgets to remind everyone how Cheney's statement is a bullshit lie.

Cheney disputed that he ever directly said Saddam had any role in the Sept. 11 attacks.

This would be the perfect gotcha moment for the media. Really stick it to Cheney by pointing out all the times he actually did say that Saddam was complicit in 9/11. But, yet again, the damn liberal media lets it go.

In an hourlong interview, Cheney also:

• Acknowledged the recent rise of violence in Afghanistan and the resurgence of the Taliban, saying the U.S. military would be in the country "for some considerable" time. He said the hunt for bin Laden remains a priority for the administration.

Yes, such a priority that the government abandoned the whole thing to concentrate on a war in Iraq that had nothing to do with Osama or 9/11.

_Said he still disagrees with the Supreme Court's decision in June that the administration overstepped its authority in holding suspected terrorists without trials or Geneva Conventions protections. He declined to discuss specific treatment of detainees, but said information gleaned from interrogations "helped us prevent attacks against the United States."

Yes, criminals often disagree when the court finds against them.

_Declined to criticize plans by Republicans to spend millions on negative campaign ads against Democrats. "I hope our guys have good hard-hitting advertisements. Certainly, the opposition does," he said. He predicted Republicans would keep control of both House and Senate.

And the captain of the Titanic said the ship was unsinkable. And the Hussein regime was still releasing reports saying the Americans were on the retreat even as we were bombing their asses from one side of Baghdad to another and Saddam was cowering in a hole.